


A Flipped Sitch

by Eoraptor



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Gen, No Smut, not a mirror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 03:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20859164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eoraptor/pseuds/Eoraptor
Summary: Ever wake up and just know it's going to be a bad day? Well, Kim has... Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed, especially when you go to sleep clothed and wake up naked, with no idea how you got that way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kim Possible ©Walt Disney Company 2002-2007, original characters © Eoraptor, fair use laws apply.   
Inspired by a user-challenge on KPslashHavenDOTnet (hint, it’s not JUST for slash)

Kim wiggled and stirred a bit, consciousness threatening at the edges of her slumber. It was when she tried to roll over and snuggle into her pillow that she realized something was off. Something was laying across her chest, and that something was roughly the size and shape of a human arm.   


The redhead opened her eyes and glanced down nervously… After all, the last thing she remembered was closing her Western Civ text book and going to sleep, alone, in pajamas.  


Her glance was met by a long, slender, but toned arm; feminine, and cast in a gothic shade of pale with just a faint undertone of green. It was draped rather possessively across her chest, but unmoving in slumber.   


Given that Kim knew of exactly two green women on the face of the Earth, and one was the spokeswoman for the asparagus board in California, this alone would have been enough to send her reeling. It was what lay beneath the malachite arm that put her over the edge into hyperbole, however.   


_‘Well, this is not the weirdest dream I’ve ever had,’_ She thought idly as she rolled over beneath the arm.  


And it wasn’t… though it couldn’t be any lower on the list than fourth, maybe third. Beneath the arm of her long time foe, she had expected, been fully prepared to see even, a pink camisole stretched across her bosom. So needless to say that when her eyes reported to her brain not that, but a slightly muscular, bare and masculine chest feathered with curly red hair, the dream state was confirmed.   


Kim was just about to close her eyes when they settled on the spine of her abandoned textbook. This tickled the back of her brain, and sent a chill through her. “Western Civilization I, Houghton McMillian Welsh, 7th edition.”  


Remembering something her mother had once said about the dream state, Kim swallowed. People couldn’t read things in their dreams, because the language center of the brain was pretty linear, and didn’t work with the subconscious. So why could she read the spine of her textbook?   


More discrepancies made themselves apparent to her somnolent brain as this fact solidified. She could feel the warmth of the arm draped over her, and more disturbingly, feel the hair on her body pressing into her skin with its weight. And beneath the sheets, she was rather certain that she and her apparent bedmate were both naked, and that the absence of her female anatomy continued down there.   


Breath quickening, Kim felt panic setting in. Nothing was making any sense! For one, it was still night outside. Shouldn’t it be morning already? Another, more pertinent discrepancy; why the heck was Shego in bed with her, naked?  


And of course, the most pressing matter of all… _‘Why am I a boy?!’_  


The redhead leapt from under the sheets, comforter, and arm, and struck a kung fu stance on the floor. Her green eyes darted wildly about, searching for the henchmen, the gadget, the mad scientist; anything to explain this!  


In the bed, Shego stirred, and lazily opened her eyes, looking first to the empty spot next to her, and then to the spot on the floor where her bedmate was now standing. A sleepy, seductive grin crept over her lips as she propped herself up on one arm, causing the sheet to fall away a bit. _‘Mmmmm, Prince Charming sure rebounds fast…’_  


As her eyes swept upwards, she purred faintly, taking in the visage of her slender, well muscled younger lover. She couldn’t get enough of this sight, and even if she were allowed to see it every day, instead of the once-a-month occurrences she was allowed, she would still stare longingly. It wasn’t until her gaze had taken in his entirely bare, poised form and settled on his face that she had pause. A frown slowly settled over her face and she sat up fully, looking around as well for whatever had spooked him.   


“Kem? Baby? What’s wrong?” She cocked her head to the side, listening.   


No sounds of twerps in the hall, no noises of parents unexpectedly home, no chiming kemmunicator, and no armies of henchmen that she could here milling about outside. Just Kem, his panicked sounding breaths, and the sheets around her rustling as she turned and slid her feet off the bed to sit up.

“Kemmie? Look, I’m sorry, I know it’s a bad idea to fall asleep in your room… but come on, what’s the matter?” Her frown intensified. It wasn’t the first time she had fallen asleep in his arms in the last few months, but no one had caught them, in fact, no one was anywhere near them this time, and it was only the third time… so why was her forbidden lover suddenly pulling the deer-in-the-headlights act?

“She- Shego… What are you doing in m- In my bed?!” Kim tightened her hands into tiger claws and if possible, the stance she struck tensed even more as she breathed through gritted teeth, “What have you done to me?!”

The green villainess’s face blanched, and she suddenly felt she was the one waking to a living nightmare. Her fears of the last six months suddenly realized, the warm dream of her secret relationship with Kem shattered as he seemed to come to his senses about what they were actually doing. Her stomach roiled with a mixture of shock, hurt betrayal, and growing anger. She should have known getting involved with a younger man; no, a _boy_, was a stupid move, especially one who knew how to work past her shields both literally and figuratively.

A hand clawed tightly in the sheets bound around her chest, forming a fist that rapidly increased in temperature as she glared daggers. Well, breaking up was hard to do, and she was about to make it sure to break him…

“Holy heck I’m naked!” Kim suddenly shrieked, as the state of her undress registered to her conscious mind fully. She moved to cover her breasts and lap, and only a few seconds later did it occur to her that she had less up top to disguise and more down below. “Damn it Shego!!”

The minty woman blinked, as though someone had slapped her in the face with a rather large trout. The heat rapidly left her hand as she boggled. Things started clicking in her mind. Kem wasn’t calling her by her name, like he always did when they were alone. And had he just tried to cover his… chest? She watched as Kem scurried awkwardly behind his dressing screen, his olive green eyes watching her the whole time with a bizarre expression.

Rising from the bed, she crossed to the dressing screen as well, standing with it between them, until Kem barked out at her to back off. She walked back to the bed, hurt, and sat down, pulling the sheet about her. Concern replaced the previous mix of feelings as she watched Kem’s feet move behind the screen, “What’s wrong, Tiger? Something’s bad in your head or something…”

Kim rolled her eyes at the false concern and looked around rapidly for something to cover up with. Looking down, she spied her mission gear. As she bent down to reach for it, she reassessed that impression.

Not her mission gear, close, but not quite. She expected to find her black, Kevlar laced Capri’s, the ones with the purple stripe up each leg. Instead, these looked like her old cargos, except in black. More disturbing, sitting atop them was a black nylon athletic supporter, and a black cup with a bright green D inscribed in one corner. She glared through a gap in the dressing screen at Shego, who was looking in her direction, but not right at her at the moment.

Pushing off thoughts of the Shego themed undergarments with the odd wrong letter on them, Kim managed to secure instead a pair of boxers. Black Silk. Again she eyed her room mate, and then reluctantly pulled them on, followed by the pants. A moment’s search for a bra was cut short when she realized it was not required for the time being. She reached for the uniform top, and again noted the differences.

_Her_ top was a bright purple tunic with short sleeves; this was a man’s turtle neck, a darker shade of royal purple, with long sleeves, though like her own second generation gear, it felt woven with Kevlar and nomex, making it heavier than the thin cotton it appeared to be. She pulled it on her altered torso and noted it was tight, forming to her new masculine frame.

Forgoing any of the equipment, gloves, shoes, or socks for the moment, she stepped out from behind the curtain and eyed her nemesis and rival. Shego still sat on the bed, one of her bed sheets wrapped loosely about her. “Now… Explain Shego. Why the heck am I like... This?”

The emerald eyed mercenary looked up, swallowing back her discomfort at the rapidly degenerating situation. Kem’s posture was all wrong, he had his hands fisted on his hips, instead of imperiously across his chest as he usually did. And those hips were canted oddly to one side, a leg held straight as if ready to strike. Shaking off that for the moment, she frowned, shedding the sheet and walking across to her cat suit, pulling it on without regard to undergarments.

“We need to get your head checked out, baby. Come on.”

Kim averted her eyes as Shego just strolled across her room, naked, and started getting dressed. She growled low in her throat at the audacity, and then blinked at Shego’s dictate. “Um… I think my mom can scan my brain thank you very much, thought that’s not the parts I’m worried about.”

She glanced down across her altered body, and wiggled her hips a bit, fighting the wedgie the boxers were generating beneath her cargos. “_REALLY_ not the part’s I’m worried about.”

Shego snorted irritably as she snapped closed the front of her uniform, which Kim noted, was sleeveless now, but otherwise no different than her usual one. “Yeah… because you’re mom would just be thrilled to find her darling little boy got some terrible brain injury while boffing his arch foe.”

Kim had to grip the side of the dressing curtain to steady herself at that. Her free hand rubbed the bridge of her nose and she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. After a moment, “Okay… Leaving aside the complete wrongsickness of _that_ little delusion, why the heck would she even know you were here? You should have bolted already, just like you always do when things go bad.”

Shego gave another hurt look to her lover, and finally sighed. “Because I love you and I never leave your side when you’re hurt, even if I’m the one who hurt you, remember? Even if it means finally admitting to your mommy that you’re screwing around with me. Besides, Doctor D has the brain scanner part of his dream tweak machine disassembled at our hideout right now, and he’s at Mama Lipsky’s for the weekend. You’re mommy have anything that compact?”

Kim had to admit that, the last part, at least, was accurate. A visit to Middleton General would entail hours of CT and PEP scans, and of course, trying to explain to her mother why she was suddenly a boy… and of course, why Shego was tagging along. She knew the warrior woman didn’t make idle threats and would indeed follow her there as promised.

“Grrrr… Fine! But I’ll kick your butt if this is another trap! Or a trap-trap!” Keeping her distance from Shego, she indicated the bedroom door, rather than the chain link ladder she realized was now hanging out her window. “You brought a hoverpod, I imagine?”

“Parked out back, like always,” Shego frowned at the tone of the question, and then shot a nervous look at the ladder. Still, supposedly no one was home for the weekend, so it shouldn’t be a huge risk to walk through Kem’s house.

_‘Like always?’_ Kim blinked and frowned. Shego stepped out of the room, and the redhead looked around while pulling on her socks and boots. Yeah, boots instead of her sneakers apparently. She also sniffed for the first time, and promptly made an even more horrified face. The bedroom smelled of scented candles which now sat extinguished or burned out on her dresser, and there was a faint undercurrent of something else.

She fled the room as quickly as she could and ran into Shego, who gripped her shoulders to keep them both upright. She noted that this altered body was slightly taller; she was almost at eye level with the thief.

“Gah, let _go_!” She forced herself out of Shego’s grasp and scowled fiercely. Storming past the green villainess, Kim descended into the darkened house. She checked in the darkness, as they passed through the living room, and noted it was undisturbed, no signs of henchmen or a fight.

Outside the house, Kim tapped her now booted foot and waited impatiently for Shego to step out as well. “Well, let’s go already… I’d like to get this sorted out.”

“Get what sorted out?! Geeze Pumpkin, what the heck is wrong?!”

“Let’s see, I went to bed, alone, in my pajamas like three hours ago… and woke up naked, next to you. And oh, yeah… When I went to bed, _I WAS A WOMAN!”_ She threw her arms in the air in exasperation, panting faintly. “What the heck do you _think_ is wrong?!”

“…” Shego just stared at him in the street light. Then she grabbed his wrist and started yanking him around the house to the hoverpod. “Inside. Now. I’m not a lesbian, and I don’t intend to become one. And neither are you for that matter.”

\- - - - -

As they flew towards Drakken’s latest mountain top lair, Shego kept glancing at her paramour, frowning and chewing her lip. He thought he was a girl? He was spending too much time around Stoppable and Monique for his own good. Boy needed more male friends. But more importantly, she needed to find out what was going on. This was not a joke; Kem’s behavior was too off for it to be some ploy to dump his larcenous girlfriend.

Once they landed, both tensely exited the pod and looked around before entering the lair. Shego caught Kem looking around a bit more nervously and sighed. “Don’t worry; little boy blue is at his mom’s all weekend. Why do you think I was able to come over. I swear we never get to spend any normal time together…”

“Of course not. You’re my arch foe, why the heck would we spend time together at all, Shego?” Kim snorted irritably. 

Shego growled deeply in her throat and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Would you stop calling me that!? I never thought I would grow to hate that particular name, ya know.”

“What the heck am I supposed to call you then?” the redhead scowled as she moved deeper into the time share hideout. “…aside from most wanted felon that is.”

“How about Debbie? It is my name you know. The one you always call me when you don’t have to pretend…”

“Pretend? Debbie?”

“Gah! Yes! Debbie! Debbie Horowitz! My Name! The one that only you and my brothers know! The one I told you to call me when we’re alone because you’re the only one allowed to u-,” Shego blew out an exasperated breath and rolled her shoulders, “You know what, Prince Charming, just sit down. I want you back to normal so that we can just get back to our weekend together. And on Monday, I’m going to figure out who screwed with your head and give them the mother of all plasma enemas.”

Kim was of two minds of this. On the one hand, this was probably _the_ most bizarre sitch she’d found herself in to date; and Shego, for all her odd behavior, was still decidedly snarky old Shego. Why the heck should she trust Shego, who despite being in her house again was decidedly not pulling a Miss Go this time, to strap her to anything?

On the other hand, Shego had a point earlier. She had the equipment, and more importantly, she could do it on the QT, giving Kim time to figure out what was going on without alerting her friends or parents. Maybe she could sort this out on her own, and no one would ever need to know she had woken up with… the wrong anatomy, again.

Reluctantly, the redhead moved and lay down in the dentist-style chair. A moment later, chewing her lower lip, Shego approached, holding a helmet that looked like a cross between Jack Hench’s Attitudinator and a food processor; which, as it turned out, was largely what it consisted of.

“All right Tiger, normal brain scan rules apply; don’t move, don’t sneeze, and if you notice any tingling, burning, itching, watery eyes, diarrhea, or flue like symptoms, well tough crap.” She rolled her eyes and swept a gloved hand raggedly through her hair.

Kim found herself strangely comforted by the snark, and took a slow breath, laying her head back as she heard Shego move away to some terminal. As she heard typing and the occasional epithet against technology, the transmuted teen heroine tried to take stock of the few facts at her disposal.

Shego was naked, in bed, with me, and asleep. The sleeping at least was not an act, even if the nakedness and casual attitude was.

I’m suddenly possessed of male anatomy. And the wardrobe to go with it

Shego wants to claim I have always been this way.

She told me her name. One that’s way too embarrassing for her to have made up. And claims I already knew it.

She has a new uniform.

And someone, _maybe_ me, let her in with the fire escape ladder.

_‘Andddddddddd… that’s about it.’_ She sighed internally. It was really not a lot at all to go on. She’d never known Shego to go in for subterfuge or misdirection; but then again, before New Mexico, she’d have thought the same of Drakken. Kim tried not to roll her eyes, lest she disrupt whatever scan Shego was doing.

After what seemed like an eternity for both parties, Shego came back and removed the scanner helmet from Kem’s head. She tutted and looked from her lover to the display, and then back. “I don’t claim to be any great medical mind, but the scanner says your brain is working normally.”

“Well, at least something around here is…” Kim shied away from the touch of Shego’s hand towards her cheek and scowled. She looked to the screen as she sat up, and scowled. While she might have _slightly_ more knowledge on what a normal brain scan should look like, she too was at a loss, “It’s the rest of me I’m worried about, Shego.”

Trying to ignore the hurt look caught in her nemesis’ eyes, she got to her feet. “Don’t come to my house again. I never loved you, and I don’t want you around my family, got it?!”

The malachite mercenary fell back into the exam chair, stunned. Kem may just as well have thrown her off Bueno Nacho tower, again.

\- - - - -

Kim climbed back up the fire escape ladder once she got back to her house. Thankfully, her new body was in as good shape as her real one, as confusing as that mental estimation was. So between hanging on to the back of a bread truck and a lot of jogging, it only took her an hour to do what the hover pod had done in fifteen minutes. Thank goodness for locationally convenient foes.

Which unfortunately left her an hour to think about what the heck was up with this freaky sitch.

It didn’t help any, given her limited info. And since the sun was beginning to lighten the sky as she scrambled into her bedroom, sleep was out of the question. She’d been hoping she could go back to sleep, and wake to find this was all a freaky dream, or at the least she was some kind of wereboy and only changed into a male in the light of the first quarter moon or something.

The problem was, that explanation left Shego to account for. Kim really didn’t like inflicting personal attacks on her nemesis, limiting herself to snarky comments about fashion or dating; but she needed space to think, and the way Shego was hovering over her, well, that wasn’t going to happen. So she’d had to dredge up the most hurtful thing she could think of to distract the emerald merc.

With a sigh, the redhead pulled in the chain link ladder and stowed it in the box provided. Honestly, she wondered what her parents were thinking; her bedroom was only fifteen feet from the ground… She could easily jump that distance faster than she could deploy an emergency ladder should the house really catch fire or collapse in an earthquake or something.

_‘…but back to matters at hand. What in the world could change me to a boy, plus my wardrobe, and make Shego think it had always been that way? Those seem like two random angles, even for my villains.’ _As Kim latched the box closed, she stood up, stretching her back. When she did, her eyes settled on the far wall and she blinked in consternation.

Where the heck was her O’boyz poster?

As pink sunrise gradually illuminated her window, she was confronted by an autographed Britina poster. The infamous one of the blonde pop star in her gemstone bikini, the one that had been the object of one of Kim’s first real missions.

“Kem, thanks for the save Cutie! Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me, (heart) Britt.”

Her breathing quickening, Kim spun around. Aside from the romantic paraphernalia from whatever Shego had been up to in her bed, there were other changes to her room. More posters switched out, so many of them flipped from what she expected. My Little Plushies replaced by Transfigures robots, Emilio Rabetti replaced by Danica Fitzpatrick racing team, and others. Well, her MC Honey poster was still intact… until she read the autograph on it. It read much like the Britina one, a vaguely alluring invite instead of the effusive thanks that should be there.

Turning to face her disturbed bed, the teen hero found her nightstand host to an alien entity. Where there should have been soft, care worn Pandaroo, a G.I. Guy action figure now stood guard over her bed. And if she remembered anything from the tweebs small collection, this one was akin to her Pandaroo, rare, but not obscenely so.

“Okay, the clothes I could buy as having been changed with me… but _all_ my stuff? This is way too weird. Better call Wade.” Kim reached for the Kimmunicator, and frowned, stopping mid-grab.

For one thing, it wasn’t the new wrist style one that came with her new clothes. It was the older model based on a hand held video game. That was not the unusual part though, unlike hers, it was branded. In chromed letters across the top, it read “Kemmunicator 2.”

_‘Okay okay… maybe some water, some aspirin, and a breather before Wade… but first…”_ Kim made quick work of sweeping away all the scented candles, directly into her waste basket. The bed sheets, which she now realized were powder blue instead of rose pink, were ripped away next, with the redhead pointedly ignoring the… evidence. That was shut out of her mind hard and fast.

Room stripped of any evidence of Shego’s apparently staged liaison, and her head spinning worse than ever, Kim made her way downstairs. _‘Okay, Kitchen seems normal…’_

Indeed, in the dawn light, the fridge was still covered with the Tweeb’s blueprints from MHS autoshop, the well-used coffee machine lived in its little nook on the counter, and the recycle bin was full of daddy’s newspapers, antiquated as they were. A quick glance showed the dates to be in line with what she knew, and the headlines not out of the ordinary.

As she drank her water and looked again at the refrigerator, however, she frowned. The certificate which said Kim Possible was never again allowed into the kitchens at Middleton High Home Ec now read “Your son Kember,” not “Your daughter Kimberly.”

“What the heck kind of name is Kember, anyway?” Kim muttered to herself, her resolve about this sitch only involving her rapidly fading away.

Making her way into the living room, Kim moaned out with resignation. The picture on the mantle showed her parents, James and Anne Possible all right… but it also showed a red haired boy a few years younger than herself, and a pair of mosey looking brunette twin girls. Scowling with growing dissatisfaction, Kim looked down at the newspaper still in her hand, and gasped. On the lower half of the front page, which had been folded underneath before, was “Kem Possible and partner stop rampaging robots” under a picture of what must be her male self, and, well… it was Ron… as a girl… During the whole Smartymart debacle.

“Oh Boy….”


	2. Chapter 2

Kim lay on the couch in the living room, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the clothes washer running down in the basement. Her bed sheets were in there at the moment, so she couldn’t lie down in bed, even if she'd wanted to. Frankly, at the moment she’d felt she’d be very happy allowing Professor Dementor to shred the mattress and box spring with the gravity engine of his hover platform.

She’d started by thinking it was her that had changed… That she had somehow been transformed into a he, along with her clothes. Shego was somehow complicit in that, and had been in bed with her to add to the illusion.

Unfortunately, a second tour around the house, which she was now convinced wasn’t _her_ home, had blown that theory out of the water. It wasn’t the major things, like her room’s new decorating, that convinced her… those things could be faked. No, it was the little touches.

Like the growth marks on the wall next to the kitchen door, they went taller than her own height should. The small corner in the garage where it had been rebuilt after the tweebs first rocket experiment, with all their hands pressed in the concrete. Hers no longer had the tiny crescents above it from her first set of fake nails. And the back yard, where the tree should have a scar on the bark where once had been a carved heart reading KP + WT 4evr. No evidence of it existed.

So, someone or something had changed the whole world around her. The question was… _How?_

That wasn’t what had her staring up at the ceiling though. She was staring at the living room ceiling because of the contents of the washer. Her head was awhirl with the ramifications. _“Shego… and I… in my bed…”_

There was no denying the evidence smeared on her bed sheets; nor, she realized, clinging to her body… That little realization, coming about thirty minutes after she got home and had been sitting around processing all of this, had resulted in her showering until the rather large hot-water tank for the house had been completely drained. _“…so am I still a virgin?”_

She shook her head fiercely to get that out of her mind. Her sexual identity at the moment was already too confused without adding that to the equation. Speaking of identities….

Sitting up, the transformed redhead sighed and looked again at the front page of last Wednesday’s newspaper. The people in the picture on the lower half of the front page. Her male form, and a person identified as “…and her partner” standing outside the Smartymart warehouse where they had just saved Martin and Arty Smarty from rampaging stock robots.

There was no question about who the girl was, even to her confused mind. Still, the freckled blonde girl surprised her. If ever Ron Stoppable had been born, or been turned into a girl, this was not the girl she would have imagined. Her Ron was… well, she didn’t like to categorize him, but he was not the greatest physical specimen. Slightly stooped, with stringy blond hair and a bit of a belly on him; Ron Stoppable was cute to her, but hardly the masculine ideal.

The as-yet-unnamed Ron on the front of the paper was… well… fairly good looking. She still had freckles across her nose and round cheeks, and there was that cowlick in her hair, but the hair itself was full, although cut short, bouncing in a bob at the back of her head. And, perhaps with a little bit of jealousy, Kim noted that Ron’s naco belly had been redistributed into generous breasts and hips on this female doppelganger. Still, she could at least tell, thanks to the normal belly baring turtleneck _she_ had worn until recently, that this Ron still was a little bit softer than might be expected given their lifestyle. It was comforting at least to know some things didn’t change.

She sighed and thought back on Shego. She had looked completely unchanged physically; save for her old Team Go uniform, which Kim now remembered had been sleeveless. And then the family picture still staring at her from the mantle. The tweebs, now short, prepubescent girls, stared out from the family portrait alongside slightly younger “Kem” and her unchanged parents.

Kim looked at her assembly of items on the coffee table again. In addition to the newspaper and that weird “kemmunicator,” were some photos from her bedroom. In one, the male body she was inhabiting stared out from between the female Ron and Monique, who, aside from having slightly more curly hair, was unchanged, right down to the brand names on her clothes. “He” had his arms around each girl in a companionable manner, and was throwing a victory sign as they were all grins. Kim thought she remembered the details of when this picture had been taken, but they escaped her at the moment, though she could remember having the same image in her own room, only with the proper genders.

“Alright,” she sighed aloud to herself, “So not everyone is physically different, but for some reason, so far I seem to be the only person who realizes something is wrong. Now, what could possibly cause such a flipped sitch but leave me able to tell the difference?”

Kim rubbed her hands across her face, and blinked. She paused, and then rubbed her chin again. With a groan, she flopped back into the couch, “………and apparently I also need to shave.”

Well, it would be a while before the exhausted water tank was refilled, so that could wait. And even so… she imagined that shaving a man’s face would be a far sight different from shaving her legs. For one thing, everything was going to be backwards, in a mirror. And, she now realized, she hadn’t spent much time looking around the upstairs bathroom for such masculine hygiene products during her shower, since it was spent scrubbing her body clean of the evidence of the night’s uninvited liaison. With a back brush, and a washcloth, and a louffa; and note to self, don’t scrub down there with a louffa.

Once again Kim pushed that thought to a segregated corner of her mind. She could deal with that later, much _much_ later. For now, she needed to talk to someone. She eyed the Kemmunicator archly. Would Wade be a boy or a girl? Honestly, she found herself curious about the answer.

_“Well, only one way to find out.”_ With a deep breath, and trusting at least that, male or female, the hacker would be up at 7 am on a Saturday, Kim pushed the call button.

Blinking a bit in confusion, the dark skinned boy set his apple juice aside and looked up on the small screen, “What’s up Kem? I thought you were doing the sabbatical thing this weekend?”

“Wade!” she yelped with relief. The second blink of confusion from him got her elation under control, “Um…. I uh…. Yeah, just had this nagging feeling I needed to check in, ya know?”

“Uh… Kem, isn’t the point of a sabbatical to take time _away_ from what is stressing you?” Wade arched a brow on the screen, “Well, never figured you for the type to take time off hero work anyways. But no, no one seems to be making a peep. It’s weird.”

“…hmmmmmmmmmmm…” she drew out the sound as she scrambled to think of anything else to say. Wade wasn’t doing the ‘wink wink’ thing he did whenever Kim was on a date, so presumably, he was somehow unaware of Shego. That, or he had become much more mature in whatever calamity had befallen the world. She bet it was the first thing though. “Okay, say could you get Ro- ah…. Just a second.”

_‘Crud! Is he, she….. whoever, still called Ron? Way to stick your foot in it Kim!’ _She groaned inwardly, berating herself for not being more prepared for this. Still, she couldn’t stall for very long, or Wade would get suspicious. After a long moment, she just elected to take a chance.

“Sorry Wade, thought I had to sneeze. Didn’t want it all over the screen. Could you put,” She mentally bit her lip, “my partner on?”

“Uh, sure Kem, if she’s awake… it’s still darned early you know.” Wade turned away for a moment to work his magic as Kim mentally kicked herself, of course Ron would still be asleep. Boy or girl, he was a bit of a sloth come morning. And that bit of naco belly attested not too much had been changed by this calamity.

“Yeeeeeeaaaaargggh… I got him Wade, you can hang up now.” It took a moment to roust the femme Ron, and then another moment for hi- her brain to engage. Another moment later, the one of the twin green lights on the side of the ‘Kemmunicator’ winked out, indicating Wade had disconnected.

“What’s up KP? I thought you and your lady love were having the big get together this weekend?”

So Ron knew about her and Shego? And did she detect just a hint of venom in that question? Well, Ron always had been a bit jealous of her boyfriends in the past. Some things didn’t change apparently. Even if they were supposed to be dating and he… she… didn’t remember at the moment.

“Uh… er… I um….”

“Oh ho… trouble with the queen of mean? Well I hate to say that I told you so, but you know… I told you so, KP.” The girl on the screen gave a sleepy, lopsided grin of victory that rubbed Kim a bit wrong. “Let me guess, she asked you to go easy on her? Wanted you to come over to the dark side? It’s a lie you know, they don’t have cookies.”

“Ron!” She snapped, trying to get her friend back on track. Girl friend? Maybe she was… no… One thing, she’d never cheat… on Ron _or_ on anyone else, even Shego. Besides, Ron probably would be a LOT more rabid if she… erm he knew, as appeared to be the case. And Ron didn’t share well… Ugh! This was just getting way to complicated way too fast!

Shaking her head, Kim sighed, only to be confronted by a slightly odd look from her partner on the screen. “What?”

“Er, nothing Kem. What is up anyways? Where _is_ your forbidden bed buddy? I figured she wouldn’t let you out of your room all weekend.” Again the freckled blonde was sneering.

“Ron…” She growled, not in the mood for any cattiness this early in the morning after a very long night. _‘Okay, note to self… male friends are not supposed to be catty’_

Rubbing her forehead, she sighed heavily and readdressed the screen, “Look, Shego’s not here, could you just come over? There’s a serious weird sitch going on, and I really need to talk to you about it.”

“O- okay KP… I’ll be there in just a bit, need to get dressed. The rents don’t exactly like me running around in pajamas.” She got the weird look from Ron yet again as the blonde started moving around while holding the other kemmunicator.

She could understand that, given the pictures she had of Ron now. He… She… Okay, she needed to work on some new pronouns until things got back to normal. Ron wasn’t exactly a bikini model, but she was definitely not someone Kim would want running around in pajamas if _she _were a parent.

The redhead shut off her end of the communicator and sat back, sighing, rubbing her face. She was once again confronted by the stubble, and decided she must somehow have her father’s hair gene now, since her legs never got this rough this fast. Well, she could try to shave before Ron got here.

\- - - - - -

“Jeeze Kem! Forget to change the blade again? Or did _Debbie_ leave you something to remember her by?” The blonde girl boggled, then sneered as she let go Shego’s secret name.

Well, made sense Ron would know. The told each other everything anyway.

It was true though; Kim’s fears about how to handle the razor on her face had been realized. She had forgone the selection of colognes and aftershaves, owing to five or six serious slices on her face. She may be inexperienced in the ways of grooming her face, but she wasn’t a dummy.

“Uh… no Ron… I just… didn’t have a steady hand this morning. Look, could you sit down? We’ve got a lot bigger things to worry about here than my face.” She sighed, and stopped just short of rubbing her stung face.”

“Uh, KP? Why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?” She paused, looking at the girl as she stared back.

“Calling me ‘Ron?’ Did Shego hit you in the head? Oh Man! You’re not like… one of those abused men from SVU are you? She’d not beating you and slicing you up and you’re just ‘getting clumsy’ right?” Her brown eyes were a bit wide and Kim was dumbstruck.

“Ron! No I am not being abused!” She squawked. If Shego wanted to abuse her, she’d have probably done a lot more than just nick her face a few times. Probably would have reduced Kember to an ember.

“Then stop calling me Ron! Seriously, you’re weirding your friend out here!” She threw her hands into the air and then shook Kim by the shoulders. It was a bit weird, because Female Ron was about an inch shorter than her new body. A jarring perspective.

The redhead let go a breath and sighed, taking a seat on the couch. “Man this is so not a good sitch.”

“Ron” blinked confusedly again and flopped next to Kem, shaking her head and scrabbling her fingers at her messy bed head of hair. “Ooooooohkay. Kem, what’s the problem then? You’re _sure_ that Shego didn’t scramble your brains? I mean, they have to be scrambled to be sleeping with your enemy right under everyone’s nose. Maybe you had like, a breakdown or something?”

“NO! Shego did NOT hit me, burn me, cut me, anything! Okay?! I don’t think this has anything to do with her actually…” She trailed off, looking back into Ron’s eyes. It was weird, despite the new body, they were still the same old soft chocolate brown eyes she'd always known. She shook off the impulse to kiss Ron… It might make her feel better, but now was really not the time.

“I know it sounds crazy, but something has happened to the universe. Everything is all…. Topsy-turvey.” she bemoaned.

“Like you calling me Ron instead of Ronnie, or… meh, Veronica?” She made a face at Kem, but couldn’t help be concerned. This was not like her best friend. And why hadn’t Wade said anything? Usually he picked right up on the whole ‘shifting of the universe’ type things with all those satellites and hacked computers.

“Ronnie? Well, I suppose that makes sense.” She sighed and laid her head on Ronnie’s shoulder. “Like I said… everything’s all freaky. You being a girl for one.”

When Ronnie felt Kem’s arm snaking around her back and tugging her close, she yelped and squirmed out of the boy’s grasp. She licked her lips nervously and eyed Kem, “Oh god! This is your way of telling me you’re gay too and you want me to be a boy so we can be together?! Look, I’m flattered and all… but we’ve already been through this…”

“What?!” Kim yelped, leaping back from the blonde, “No! I’m not gay! Ron, I’m supposed to be the girl, and you the boy! That’s what’s all screwed up! And what do you mean ‘too’?”

“Oh! Is that all?!” Ronnie blinked and let out a relieved breath. Then she stopped, and reevaluated her relief. “What do you mean what do I mean ‘too?’ And what do you mean I’m supposed to be the boy?”

Kim groaned and rubbed her temples. After a long moment, she sighed and sat back up. “Okay, let’s try this again… I’m going to tell you what I remember of how things are supposed to be… and then you tell me what you think is supposed to be, okay?”

“…okay then…” Ronnie chewed her lip. Kem was really starting to freak her out. The badly shaved face covered with little bits of bloody tissue wasn’t helping things any. Shego was in for such a smack the next time they crossed paths.

“Okay,” Kim sighed heavily and took a deep breath, “My name is Kimberly Ann Possible. I’m a girl. You’re a boy, Ronald. My brothers are twins named James and Timothy Possible, Jim and Tim, the tweebs. You and I met in Pre-K when you tried to save me from a bully and I ended up saving you. We’ve been best friends ever since. We’ve been dating for about eight months, since you confessed you had feelings for me at the Junior Prom. I’ve never dated Shego, I can barely stand her most of the time. Sometime last night, someone set off some sort of device or something and messed up the whole world… People’s genders have been flipped some places, but not others. I woke up naked next to Shego, as a boy, after going to sleep, alone, in my PJs, as a girl.”

Ronnie blinked confusedly as Kem caught his breath and wrung his hands in a very uncertain, very un-Kem manner. Scratching the top of her head and trying to smooth out her cowlick, she tried to process all of that. “And you’re a cheer leader too?”

The blonde yelped and collapsed back under Kem as he tackled her, hugging her and kissing her on the mouth.

“You do remember!”

“Yahhh! Kem! What are you doing!” She pushed him off her again and wiped the back of her hand over her mouth. For one, he had some nasty bed breath, and for two…

Looking at the surprised and shocked boy, she shook her head, “I soooo need a Naco right now. That will make everything all right. Maybe this is all a really freaking dream.”

“So… you don’t remember that?” Kim pouted her lower lip out, sighing and trying not to let the moisture at the corners of her eyes fall.

“Uh… no. For one, I don’t remember you having the stereo pout that the twerps use on your rents.” Veronica sighed heavily. That was just weird to see on Kem’s face.

Seeing that Kem was seriously upset and confused, she tried to reassemble his rant about being a girl, and how it differed from reality. “Okay, um… You’ve always been a boy, and I think I’ve always been a girl, despite what Yori says about past lives. You have twin sisters, Anne and Elizabeth, the tweps Annie and Izzie. You and I met in Pre-K when you saved me from a bully after I tried to tell him about playground rules. We’ve been tight ever since.”

Watching her best friend in the world, Ronnie took a breath and tried to remember what was next. The she tried to figure out how to phrase it, since Kem, the toughest guy she knew outside of Mister Barkin, seemed on the verge of tears.

“Um, You mentioned Junior Prom. When Drakknen and Shego almost won. You… kinda told me you wished I was- Okay, no, let’s skip that wrongsickness for now. Four months ago Shego got turned into Miss Go and the two of you fell in love. I still say you caught the shrapnel from the reverse polarizer getting smashed by Drakken knocking over that street light and it made you insane. And you’re the quarterback for the Mad Dogs, not a cheerleader.”

Taking another breath, she watched Kem closely, to see if any of this rang any bells for him. At least he didn’t seem to be on the verge of crying any more.

“Head Cheerleader. Man this is so totally freaky! Why am I the only one who remembers how things are supposed to be!” She threw her hands into the air and fell back into the couch. “None of that is right, well after the Pre-K thing anyways. Okay, need to find out who did weirdness to the universe. I know it wasn’t Drakken, Shego said he was with his mom this weekend. Maybe Dementor got his hands on the Vortex inducer again?”

“You mean she got her hands on it again… And I hope not. I’ve had about enough of that thing after being stuck on TV.”

“Her? So Dementor is a..”

“Total Witch with a B? You don’t remember that either?” the freckled girl rubbed her eyes and decided that a Naco or three was definitely in order. “…look, let’s get some food. Then you can try to tell me why you think everything is wrong again.”

“Everything _is_ wrong! Ron! Ronnie! You have to believe me!” 

As she watched Kem lemt down yet again into a pile on the couch next to her, Ronnie picked up her kemmunicator, “Hey, Mo? It’s Ronnie, yeah… Look, can you meat KP and me at the BN?”


	3. Chapter 3

As Ronnie led Kem into the Bueno Nacho, She looked around, and frowned. Monique wasn’t here yet, apparently. The blonde was hoping that Kem’s “normal” friend could help shed some light on this sitch. After all, Monique was relatively sane when it came to all the weirdness of Team Possible, and she’d been pretty much invaluable after Cocoa Banana’s designs were stolen last week. Kem might work at the Club, but he was hardly well versed in the differences between flat front and pleated slacks.

Tugging the baseball cap on her head, hiding her bed-hair, she dropped Kem off at their usual booth and then went to order breakfast for three; three egg and sausage nacos for herself, two steak enchiritos for Kem, and a salad for Mo.

“Oh god, thanks Ron… Ronnie. I’m a lot hungrier than I thought after being out all night.”

“Suuuuure you are. Out all night with De-,” The blonde girl blinked, stopping in the middle of sliding into the booth, as Kem reached not for the enchiritos, but for Monique’s salad. She was about to object, knowing how Mo got about her health food, but decided that was one oddness she could let slip by until the girl actually got here. She watched the boy eating at the salad, with a fork, and readjusted her ballcap. “So… um Kem…”

“Kim,” the redhead corrected after swallowing a bite of his salad, which only added to Ronnie’s consternation.

“Ke- Kim…” She worked to correct herself, before reaching over and yanking the tissue of Kem’s wounded face, “There… Better. Now… what’s up with the whole… girl… thing? I mean, I haven’t seen you in your undies for a while, but the last time I did, I remember for a fact that that wasn’t a rolled up sock down there.”

Kim sighed, and set her fork aside, wiping her mouth with a napkin, and trying not to hiss as she irritated one of the shaving cuts, “Yeah… Me… a girl… Okay, you know, if someone was writing, this, they would have way too many pauses.”

She shook her head at the mutual confusion and sighed, beginning again. “How can I explain this, in a way that doesn’t make me sound like the crazy one?”

“By starting with the fact that you were never a girl?” Ronnie sucked down her Naco in three bites and wiped her mouth on a napkin before continuing around half-chewed mexi-food. “Seriously, Kem, I remember seeing your pee-pee in third grade. I think I’d know if you were hiding something like this.”

She giggled a bit, Kim almost spat out her salad, groaning and tugging a hand through her hair, only to find it far too short. “Ewww… You really are messed up right now! I never showed you anything! Actually you tried to show me, but my mom came in and then I had to get the whole talk.”

Ronnie was about to respond when the little bell over the door to the taco bar rang. Looking up, they both saw Monique enter, decked out in a lilac blouse and black jeans against the spring time air. She glanced around, spotted the pair, and made her way over, smiling the whole way.

Kim was used to seeing the shopanista smiling and thought nothing of it. Across from her, however, Ronnie tried to cover a groan with her hand. The altered redhead was about to question the sound when Monique slid into the booth next to her.

“Whoa!” She blinked when she turned to look at Kem. “Boy, don’t tell me I need to upgrade your razor again. I had enough trouble picking out that Fission that wouldn’t cut up your pretty face.”

“Wha- Erm no… I uh… just got lazy about changing the blade is all.”

Arching an ebony brow, Monique studied her male friend closely for a long moment. Then she looked across to Ronnie and snorted, “You’re the one actually allowed to go into his bedroom, why don’t you keep track of these things? Thought you had his back and all that?”

“Hey, don’t blame me!” the blonde whined, “He keeps his razor in his bathroom anyway, not his bedroom, and do you really think I have any more experience shaving a face than you do?”

Kim watched the exchange, and almost seconded that, until she remembered that Monique and Ron had been changed, and now thought that she was actually the one in the wrong and should know how to groom her face.

“Good point. So, what’s the 911? Aside from severe pretty boy lacerations that is?” Monique shot the heroes a look and then glanced at the table, “And where the heck is my roughage? Don’t tell me one of you carnivores got confused.”

“Ooops!” Kim yelped. She suddenly realized the misstep, and looked down at the incriminating evidence in front of her, the spork still in her hand. “Uh… I had a craving?”

The fashionable member of the group lifted her eyebrow again at the boy who could do anything, questioning his sanity. Then she looked across the table to Ronnie and rolled her eyes. “Is this the problem? Kem’s suddenly taken to eating human food instead of cave man food? Or did you see him unshaved and were afraid he was turning into an orange-haired monkey again?”

“Hey!” the blonde complained, “That was seriously a bad time and I’ll thank you not to bring it up again. Kem’s hairy enough without being turned into some wrong sick orangutang. No, the problem is that he’s-,”

“Ah, having a problem with…. Uh… Latin class! Yeah! And I was hoping you could help out?” Kim suddenly scrambled. She really didn’t want Monique getting worked up, since the girl Ron had been turned in to was already not handling this very well.

“You… having a problem with Latin?” both dark brows shot up in disbelief. Monique again looked to Ronnie for confirmation, who reluctantly shrugged. “You’re right, he’s gone insane. So… Why don’t you just call Conchita? She not Latin enough for you? Cause I don’t know my Latin from my elbow, you know that.”

“Conch-,” Kim began, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“Oh please, Mo. You know Kem can’t stand that hanger-on.” Ronnie interjected, picking up on the fact that Kem wanted Monique kept out of the loop. “All that ‘Aye mi amor, you are my brave blue fox and I am your willing yellow trout. Blech! That’s almost as wrong sick as well… something that’s really sick and wrong.”

“Well, at least she stopped calling you Zorro Azul and filling your locker with plane tickets and bikini pictures.” Monique laughed, covering her sigh of relief that Kem and Señor Senior Senior’s daughter was still a no go. “Well, I _suppose_ I could be convinced to try and help my baby boy and his gal pal out… I’m free tonight, Kem, if you want me to stop by?”

“Ah, I think we have a mission tonight, Monique,” Kim tried to waffle. Technically it wasn’t a lie, since she intended to get to the bottom of this flipped sitch ASAP, but she was surprised by the flash of hurt in the darker girl’s eyes. “Um… tomorrow night?”

“You got a mission?” Monique crossed her arms over her chest, “I thought you were taking the weekend off. Not to be disturbed. Why do you think I raced over here when Ronnie called me? We were supposed to go to Pain King and Steel Toe’s match tonight so she could watch ring card girls and I could scream like a mad woman while you de-stressed.”

“Hey! I watch the matches too!” Ronnie sniffed, munching through her second Naco. “But Kem was seriously tweaked about his… homework thing.”

“Take it easy girlfriend, you know I’m just messing with you.” She felt like she was being played, but she decided to go along with it for the moment. “Fine… Should have guessed Kem Possible couldn’t dial it down on his own for so much as six hours, let alone three days. But you owe me. We got a shipment of no wrinkle Polos coming in on Monday and you know how I hate their collars curling, so you get to lay them out, Kem. And Ronnie, you owe me a home cooked meal, and _no_ Mexican! I want Italian, and a big dessert.”

\- - - - - -

“Why did you invite her?” Kim hissed at the femme Ron as they left the BN.

“I thought she could help” she whined, “I’m about as girly as you are, you know that!”

“You can say that again.” Kim muttered bitterly and shook her head. “Now, let’s try to think about who could have caused this whole sitch.”

“The ‘sitch’ here is that you’re seriously sick in the head, Kem! You’re no more a girl than Rufus is a Giraffe!” Ronnie made some frantic gestures with her hands as she tried to get her friend to see the insanity of claiming he was secretly a girl.

“Oh Gosh! Don’t tell me Rufus isn’t a boy molerat anymore!”

As if on command, the still-male molerat peered from one of Ronnie’s cargo pockets, and made his displeasure at being compared to a giraffe known by squeaking and chittering irritably.

“Of course not Kem! Rufus has always been a boy molerat, and I have always been the queen of his private little one-rat colony.” Ronnie shook her head, rubbing the top of Rufus’s head.

“Queen?” the redhead boggled at the two of them, thinking this was some underhanded confirmation of her idea that Ron was in denial.

“Duh, KP. Molerats are euosocial, like Bees. You know that.” The blonde shook her head again, and frowned. “That’s kind of a big thing to forget… maybe we should talk to your mom?”

“Or maybe you should talk to me!” came a call from somewhere nearby.

Both teens looked around, but could find no one visibly calling out to them. Finally looking wards, they were greeted by Shego, dropping from a hoverpod, which suddenly wavered and disappeared. She landed with hardly a sound before them, and Kim dropped back instantly into a fighting stance, growling and clenching her fists

“Shego! I told you to stay away.”

Both Ronnie and Shego looked at the redheaded fighter with varying degrees of surprise. Finally, the blonde girl spoke up, arching a brow. “Um, Kem… I know you two had some kind of fight… but Don’t you think a throw down outside the Bueno Nacho is a bit… extreme?”

“Hey… if he wants a fight…” there was a noticeable phwoosh, a whump as fires ignighted around the slender woman’s fists. Shego gave a dark smile, one which made Ronnie shiver, “I’ll be happy to oblige.”

She let her fists fly, driven forward by all her anger at Kem’s betrayal. Green energy wrapped about her fists and flared in sympathy with her pain. The swing with all the force the fire within could drive up, aiming to take his head off.

But instead of slamming her flaming fist aside and driving at her with his fists, those powerful chest muscles flexing so deliciously… Kem, back-flipped. Growling at the avoidance, Shego swung again, stepping into the blow now. Again, no strong, protecting arm swung up to block. This time, a long leg wheeled up and over, smacking her wrist downwards.

Shego blinked, and then drove in again, swinging a knee right for the boy’s groin. Instead of X’ing his arms downward, or counting on his cup to protect him, Kem’s knee flashed to the side, his body pivoting, and Shego didn’t even see the blow coming.

Kim had intended only to slap Shego away. She was shocked when her hand struck Shego’s cheekbone with a resounding harsh smack, and Shego wheeled uncontrollably off to the left side with the blow. She looked, incredulously at the back of her fist. Then she smacked her face into her other hand… of course, she was several inches taller, and didn’t take that into account.

“Shego, I’m sorry!” The redhead yelped.

Standing, and rubbing her cheek as a dusky bruise began already to spread across it, she glared at the two teens. Moisture threatening at the corners of her eyes, the mercenary extinguished her hands and leapt upwards, grabbing the hoverpod as it suddenly materialized again.

Ronnie looked a bit, befuddled, and frowned. “Well, that was… different.”

“How?” Kim, looking from her fist, to the now empty air as the hoverpod jetted away, sighed. “How was that different?”

“You two didn’t flirt.”

“I never flirted with Shego!” Kim snapped at her apparently transformed friend and growled.

“Oh please. You two were _always_ talking to each other, sniping at each other, grinning and growling at each other… Even before Miss Go.” The rubenesque blonde pointed out. “F.L.I.R.T.ing.”

“That’s not Flirting.” Kim huffed, and shook out her newly masculine hand, considering the sky above them.

As she did, a note fluttered from the sky, and she reached up, snatching it. But she stuffed it into her pocket without even reading it.


	4. Chapter 4

“So there’s one thing I don’t understand,” Kim frowned as she and Ronnie reentered the Possible residence.

“What’s that?” the voluptuous blonde scratched the top of her head as she waited for Kem to open the door for her, and then remembered that Kem currently thought he was ‘Kim’.

“You said that Shego and I,” she made a face, still believing this all to be a delusion caused by whatever had changed parts of the population of Middleton, “started dating after the sitch with the reverse polarizer. But when that happened, she was dating Barkin.”

“Oh god, as if I wasn’t turned around enough already,” came a catty rejoinder from ahead of the teens, “You bring that up. Where’s the trash can? I need to chuck…”

“Shego!” Came the cry in unison as the two heroes prepared for a fight.

They stood, for a long moment, watching Shego, who sat astride the couch, eyeing them warily, before she sighed, and dropped her head back into the couch. “So… It’s really true… you are REALLY not My Kem Possible are you?”

“What was your first clue?” Kim spat acidicly, not dropping her stance despite Shego’s apparent malaise.

“Well, first it was the fact that you leapt out of bed with me instead of into.” She sat up, and began ticking off on her gloved fingers, “Then, there was the brain scan, It was perfectly okay, but I didn’t have one of yours to compare it to, when I did, it was all wrong.”

She looked wanly at the two teens and sneered, “Incidentally, Princess…” She strung out the last syllable disgustedly, “your mother needs to tighten up her record keeping department. But what really clinched it was the fight.”

“What about the fight?” The redhead glared daggers.

“My Kem fights with his fists, not his feet.” She snorted derisively. “And he damned sure doesn’t spin and duck and flail like some sugared up little cheerleading tart. You, on the other hand, think you’re Muffy the Werewolf Hunter.”

“So you believe me?” Kim finally dropped her hands slightly.

“That you’re not the boy I love? Yes.” Shego nodded bitterly. “Your little delusion about the whole world being changed around you? Not so much.”

The green mercenary rose up from the couch and strolled across the floor, glaring, “Incidentally, you almost had me with that whole ‘leave the lid up’ act at the lair.”

“You left the lid up?” Ronnie glared at her mentally ill partner, “Kem! I thought I taught you better!”

Kim looked between the two girls and held up her hands, “Hey! I was stuck in your… erm, a Ron’s body for three days. I had to be able to imitate a boy!”

“Ewwww, you… in the dy- erugh, the buffoon’s body.” Shego pulled a face, barely catching herself and trying to be rid of the mental image.

After a moment in which everyone managed to settle themselves slightly in the face of a greater, if still confused crisis, Ronnie began the conversation anew, “So, Shego, what convinced you that Kem isn’t… well… Kem.”

She sighed and shook her head, combing a hand through her hair, “Body language. Even the best actor in the world can’t disguise the little things, the tilt of the hips, the poise of the shoulder, the way they throw a punch. Not all the time anyway.”

“But what if Kem has a split personality?” Ronnie pointed out helpfully, only to be glared at by both Kem and Shego. “I mean... don’t they… change… bodylan-…”

“I think I know my Prince Charming well enough to tell if he has deep seated psychological issues, Blondie.” She growled at the sidekick.

“Incidentally,” she jabbed the boy in the chest while glaring into his, or her, eyes, “I fell in love with my Kember Aaron Possible because he could have left me trapped behind the utterly insipid but very harmless mask of Miss Go, but he made that brat there turn me back.”

She thumbed viciously at Ronnie and then wheeled, crossing her arms over her chest and facing away from the pair. “And I would very much like him back.”

Kim held her altered body and felt very sick now. Frankly she had been all too willing to let Shego remain Miss Go. To think that these alterations thought they had been ordered by her NOT to do that left her feeling confused, and like a complete loser for the very idea. It had been bad enough when she had chipped her brothers, but now that she thought back on that; what she had wanted to do to Shego had been infinitely worse. It would have been irreversible.

Kim shook her changed head firmly, and cleared it of that thought. None of this had actually happened. These people, her best friend and her worst enemy, were simply confused by whatever calamity had befallen them.

“We’ll get this sorted out,” She declared. “Everything will be put back to normal.”

“Now that’s my Kem!” both girls cheered, and then immediately glared at one another.

Kim sighed at both of them. She just hoped she could convince them that it was her way which was the right one, and not their confused ideas about being girls, or dating her. Shaking her head she took out the “Kemmunicator” and punched up Wade.

“What’s up Kem?” The chubby Hacker asked, and then he gasped, “SHEGO! Don’t worry Buddy, I’m calling Global Justice! We’ll get you backup ASAP!”

“So… He doesn’t know?” Kim sighed and looked to her feminized companions.

“Not unless you told him, which you just did…” Shego groaned, clapping a hand to her face, “Great, another moron that I have to force to keep all this secret. Like that idiot Eddy wasn’t bad enough…”

“Kem? What’s… going on?” Wade looked at his cameras and thus the trio on the other end of the kemmunicator.

Kim groaned and sighed, “I need you to come to the house Wade… and in person not as holo-wade or anything. I promise I’ll explain everything when you get there.”

A quick brainscan from the beam built into the Kemmunicator confirmed to Wade that Kem wasn’t under duress or mind-wiped, and so he only reluctantly agreed. “Fine… fine… let me prepare my mobile kit and I’ll be there. Expecting an explanation.”

“Yeeesh,” Kim groaned, shutting off the call, “So the Drama.”

\-- -- --

Wade arrived a half hour later, and Kim quickly ushered him into the house, looking around outside behind him with a growing sense of paranoia.

“Alright, I’m going to tell you all, right here and now, what I believe to be true, and I want you all to assume that I am correct, got it?” she looked at the three others in the living room. “Ronnie has already heard this, but it wouldn’t hurt for added emphasis.”

She spent the next five minutes running down a brief synopsis of her life history to Shego, Ronnie, and Wade, to their increasingly worried looks. “Now… any questions which don’t involve me being hit on the head or a closet case?”

She watched as all three guests tried to frame the questions she had already heard in new ways. Finally, nothing salient came from any of them and Kim nodded resolutely. “Wade, Shego already has one brain-scan of me. I want you to compare that to the one I know you took of me when you also scanned Miss Go in October. That should be enough proof that I am who I say I am.”

Wade took a scan of his own with the Kemmunicator just to be sure. A moment later, “Well, there’s no signs of trauma or outside influence, but there are definitely differences. So either you are who you say you are, or you believe it enough as to not make a difference.”

Making a sour face, Kim grumbled, “Thank you for putting brainwashing on the table too, Wade, just what I ferociously needed!”

“I call em like I see em, Kem.” The round hacker shrugged uneasily. “Programing would explain things, for instance, why Shego is here.”

Kim wanted to tear her shortened hair out. She was getting really tired of the Shego/Debbie angle. But for now at least, she had no choice; Shego seemed determined to insert herself into this.

“Shego is not involved in this. Of that much I am convinced,” She supplied.

Sitting down on the couch, she noticed that every time she used the word ‘Shego’ that Shego herself winced. Finally, she glared across at the villainess, “Should I just freaking tell him already or what? Not that I am going to stop calling you Shego, it’s the only name _I_ know you by, remember?”

The villainess gave a non-comittal wave of her hand and looked away. The redhead, on the other hand knew that this was not a gesture of permission, but one of defeated acceptance.

She knew Shego’s body language well enough after four years of them trying to alternately capture or kill one another. Delusions of being lovers completely aside, it was a fairly intimate relationship for two people to have.

“Fine,” She grumbled at the gesture and shook her head, pawing a hand through her wrong-hair, “Shego insists I call her Debbie because, Wade, Debbie and Kem have apparently been dating for six months. I think this weekend was supposed to be their half-iversary.”

Apparently having an IQ in the low two hundreds didn’t preclude the ability to be surprised, because if Wade had had anything in his mouth at that moment, he would have sprayed it across the room. “WHAT?!”

“I wouldn’t call it dating,” Ronnie catted as she also looked away, apparently ashamed of keeping the secret.

“Watch it, blondie…” Debbie growled at the teen dangerously.

“Enough!” Holding her hands up, Kim cut off the territorial argument as rapidly as she could. “That is neither here nor there or some junk. What I really need to know is why I am in the wrong body, and why Ron-Ronnie is also, as well as my sister and a few others. It can’t be as simple as a mirror sitch or _everybody_ would have been flipped around. Mom would be dad, dad would be mom, all that sort of thing. So I’m thinking… alternate dimension like episode number 147 of Captain Constellation and _Darn Daddy for downloading all that crap into my brain last month!”_

After a moment of fuming about the intrusion in her brain, Kim shook her head, “So Wade, what do you have that can scan for alternate dimensions and stuff?”

“Uh…” the pubescent hacker made a sound that made it seem like he was still hung up on Kem and Shego, but was fighting to catch up, “Nothing personally, but I know some people over at CERN who have a theory. Can I, um, get back to you?”

Sighing dejectedly, and trying not to scratch at her shaving cuts, Kim nodded from behind her borrowed face, “I guess it will have to do. Also, keep a look out for any villains messing with stuff like the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer. That could cause this sort of thing right? I mean, it made TV real for a week.”

“Now, as to you, Shego,” Kim did her best to keep her voice neutral. She didn’t want to upset the violent villainess, neither out of sympathy nor out of self-preservation, “I know that you’re very invested in this, but as far as I can tell, until five minutes ago, nobody but you, me and Ron-nie knew about the dating thing. I think it’s best to keep up that pretense for njow. So unless you find out that Drakken really was behind this or something-,”

Kim found her feet swept out from under her and her head banging against the carpeted floor of the livingroom. She should have known Shego was every bit as fast as her.

“No!” the taller woman barked, pouncing atop her and seizing her by the collar of her mad-dog tee, “Kem is MINE. You don’t get to tell me to back off because it’s more convenient for you, _princess…_”

Kim could see a storm of confused emotions in Shego’s eyes. It wasn’t that she didn’t totally sympathize, but, to her Shego was nothing more than a dangerous felon.

Because of that, she grabbed Shego’s wrists and used her knee as leverage, inverting their positions with a flip and growling back, “I am doing this for the both of us. Unless you want Drqakken accidentally finding out because you slipped up and kissed me in front of him or something ferociously wrong like that, got it?”

“God I wish they’d shut up and kiss.” Ronnie complained from her seat, not doing anything to intervene in the argument, “So much easier than watching them stifle it in public.”

“_No!_” Both Debbie and Kim barked at the blonde, glaring at him in equal measures.

After a wary moment, Kim got her borrowed body off of Shego and straightened up, offering her a hand in spite of the tension. “Look, I get it, kinda. Your boyfriend is missing. But I’m trying to save myself, and maybe the entire world here. So keeping it on the low down seems like a better idea, natch.”

Debbie wouldn’t meet the eyes that belonged to Kem. She hated the idea of keeping things secret, but that was the only way they could currently be together, “Fine. But word of warning, don’t be surprised to find me in the shadows. It’s where I do my best work, and Kem needs me, even if you don’t.”

Kim found she couldn’t refute the admonition. She supposed that if situations were reversed, and it was Ron, not her, who had gone missing in some cosmic way and only Shego knew where to find him, she would be giving the same sorts of warnings.

Sighing, she rubbed her face, and then realized that it _still_ itched from the nicks she had given herself.

“Ron… I’m sorry, Ronnie. Could you try to get in touch with,” suddenly she eyed Shego, and wondered if Shego was privy to the nature of Yamanouchi third-hand via her relationship or not.

She also tried to figure if the buxom Veronica Stoppable had ever even been to Japan or not. Grumbling, she rubbed her eyes with her palms. How did she have so many secrets going on in her life? She prided herself on being a basic average girl, not a clandestine superheroine with a secret lair.

Leaning over, she whispered the magical Y word in Ronnie’s ear. Ronnie frowned and gave a thumbs down in response. “Nope… they don’t like me very much since you and me stole Yori. I mean, I could… ya know, try to ask but…”

“Stole…?” Kim again palmed her face, “You know what, explain it later. Just… Meditate, put out some feelers, send a text, whatever.”

“And what about your parents, _Princess?_” Again Debbie dragged out the last syllable like an irritated hiss.

“With luck,” Kim scowled at the angry tone, “This will all be sorted out before my family gets home, and it will just be an amusing anecdote to tell them.”


End file.
